from now on my penis is your penis
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
