Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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