i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
