your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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