There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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