I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
