whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
