Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
