I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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