I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize