He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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