In America we eat man semen.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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