he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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