Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
