I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
