you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
