it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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