She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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