i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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