Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
