The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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