when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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