So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
