I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
