i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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