Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
