ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
