I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
