Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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