discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
