who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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