Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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