my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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