Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize