this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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