a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
