Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
