I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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