I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
