Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
