I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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