singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer