I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dating After Heartbreak
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard