wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.