I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.