That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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