So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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