he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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