He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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