can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
