do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
