no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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