I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
