hotel room ftw
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize