You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
