He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
