You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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