Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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