a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
