Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize