i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think your dad took our porno
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
